Warning: Occupancy of This Austin Mini by More Than 53 Candidates for City Council Is Strictly Forbidden

With the winding of August along its inexorable and increasingly frigid way towards its end comes the inevitable arrival of a Calgary autumn and of the municipal silly season. That’s right, folks—Calgary’s civic election is back on the radar, coming to a school gymnasium or community hall near you a mere seven weeks from now, on 15 October. Once again, the good citizens of this city are poised to consider the many local issues affecting them in their day-to-day lives and make the sober yet necessary decisions about who will represent their interests in City Council chambers and from the mayoral dais that will ensure the effective and responsible governance of their fair city for the next three years.

Or not.

There’s something about municipal elections in Calgary that draws to the flickering flame of the candle of local democracy the usual eclectic assortment of kooks, wackos, losers, wanna-bes, never-weres, and lifers every third autumn. Would that the city’s voters came out of the woodwork in the same profusion—if the results from the 2004 election are to be trusted, over 80 percent of Calgary electors apparently decided they would find more fulfilment in giving the polls a miss and ranting about the failures of their civic polity on some talk radio show instead. From my standpoint, any government, but especially one so close to the little tangibles such as transportation and tap water that we as citizens take for granted as City Council, operates on the simple principles of RIRO (that is, rubbish in, rubbish out) and use it or lose it.

That’s why I’m willing to do my teensy wee little part to help take back City Council in October.

The Beltline is a part of Ward Eight in Calgary City Council, and although it will still be about three weeks before all the candidates’ nominations are confirmed and posted at City Hall, at this stage the most informed speculation—or at least, as informed a speculation as we currently have—suggests that my selection of candidates will include the following choices:

• Steve Chapman—one of two ex-cops considering a run for Ward Eight, and the one with an executive affiliation with Calgary’s favourite platoon of reactionary loons, the Progressive Group for Independent Business;
• Madeleine King—the defending cham-peen, ladeeeez and gentlemen; a barrister, urban planning student, and Elboya society maven who occasionally returns telephone calls and occasionally pops into the Beltline to tell the gathered inkslingers how shocked and appalled she is that there are criminal elements in the neighbourhood;
• Lindsay Luhnau—a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed environmental advocate of 26 whose platform combines earnestness, an abiding affection for Mother Earth, and a policy on plastic shopping bags that proves, folks, that she has never lived in a conapt with a cat;
• John Mar—the other of two ex-cops considering a run for Ward Eight, and the one with his sanity intact; as president of the Scarboro Community Association, he let it be known to City Hall that relocating a halfway house to within Rocko-walking distance of a community park and an elementary school might not be the best conceivable idea; and
• Teddy Paraskevopoulos—some guy, apparently, of whom little, including his actual intention to run for City Council, is in point of fact known.

Now given that life in the Beltline has given me some ideas about mass transit, public safety, open communication, and quality of life that I would consider to be in my interest to have addressed on my terms, as opposed to terms set by some seat warmer with an ideological hobby horse and a chip on the shoulder, I came up with a few questions that I will pose—right here, folks, and right now—to all of the candidates for the Ward Eight seat on City Council:

Focus on Community:

F1. Please describe how the most important lesson you learnt in working with your community league is relevant to your work as an alderman.

F2. Please recount a situation wherein you were able to respond constructively to a commercial development proposal for your community that in your estimation was poorly conceived.

Responsiveness:

R1. Please identify the criteria you would use to differentiate between correspondence you would delegate to your constituency assistant and correspondence to which you would respond personally.

R2. Please summarise how you would follow up a query from a constituent who previously called 311 to report a case of vandalism and who has now contacted you to ask why the vandalism has not been remediated.

Addressing Concerns:

A1. Please indicate how you would respond to a constituent's concern that the employees of a city department on whose services the constituent depends for day-to-day living are contemplating a labour disruption that would bring these services to a halt.

A2. Please articulate your position on how you would improve the connection of the western communities of the Beltline (that is, between 4 Street SW and 14 Street SW) to the CTrain system and to other modes of transportation across the CP Rail right of way into the downtown core.

Credibility:

C1. Please explain, in light of Calgary's recent land annexation, how you would reconcile the need to provide civic infrastructure to new communities on the city periphery with the need to maintain and enhance the social, environmental, and structural conditions of such inner-city communities as the Beltline.

C2. Please clarify where you stand on how Calgary's growth in population and international awareness over the past ten years affects its standing and its mandate for action on behalf of its citizenry relative to those of the provincial and federal governments.

Tiebreaker Questions, to be scored individually if needed:

T1. Please compare the relative merits of the existing strategy for planning and building the north-centre line of the CTrain system to those of constructing an underground LRT line beneath Centre Street.

T2. Please suggest a workable public safety strategy for residents of the city centre who have expressed concerns about openly illegal activities on commercial sites immediately adjoining critical locations within the public realm.

A note to all of the candidates, declared and potential alike—these questions are also available for transmittal in an MS Excel workbook that also includes a description of the scoring system; just post a comment with your e-mail address for further details. Please note that especially insightful, vapid, or uproarious responses will more likely than not be posted here for the edification and amusement of my reading public. (Thanks—both of you.)

Personally, I can’t wait to see what the candidates have to say. Let the 2007 silly season commence!